Inebriation

I have a friend *coughHoovercough* that will often introduce me to people as "the Mormon". I realize that it's meant in a somewhat affectionate and joking manner, but I'm not going to lie, it's slightly irritating. I'm certainly not ashamed or embarrassed by the fact that I'm a Mormon, but I also certainly don't think that it is the only thing that defines me.

That being said though, it is a large part of who I am and why I do or don't do certain things. And I can't help but sometimes wonder what I would be like if I wasn't a Mormon and hadn't been raised with this specific belief structure.

For instance, would I drink? It's a hard question to answer. Obviously, if I hadn't been raised to not view drinking as something I shouldn't do, when the time came that I was exposed to it (high school) my attitude probably would have been very different and chances are I would have participated.

The better question might be, if I suddenly now decided to leave the Mormon church for some reason (not that I view this as a realistic "what-if") would I drink alcohol?

Honestly, I'm not sure. I can't remember a single time in my life where I seriously thought, "Boy, I sure wish I drank." It's never been something that I viewed as a pleasant vice to have. And even if it is a pleasant vice to have, very often it is paired with the unpleasantness of making an ass out of yourself to everyone around you.

I'm thinking specifically of a recent experience. On Halloween I went to a Smashing Pumpkins concert here in Columbus. I made the mistake of standing on the side of the pit with the bar. And let me tell you, this was a massive mistake. Picture yourself surrounded on all sides by drunken morons tanked completely out of their minds. There was moshing at this concert. Yes, moshing. Not fake moshing either. Drunken assholes throwing their full weight around, shoulders and elbows being thrown with no regard. An actual fist fight broke out between some tall, white trash bastard and Darth Vader. Yes, people were in costume. And I think alcohol must have some kind of deadening effect on the Force because let me tell you, Darth took an absolute beatdown. Add all that to the typical idiot standing right next to me, screaming at the top of his lungs for the one song he wanted the band to play (they didn't) while he tries (and several times, almost fails) to keep himself fully upright.

So when I witness things like this I just have to say...really? This is why people get drunk? To act like this? To do things that would be completely inexcusable in any other environment? Things that would cause me to be completely embarrassed for the next day and quite possibly require an apology? Gee, SIGN ME UP.