Bring Back Note-Passing!

Yes, I have mad Microsoft Paint skills.

Everyone remembers this, right? Of course you do. You'd pass this note to the cute girl in 4th grade. And then she'd pass it back with a very heavy, emphatic check mark in the "no" box along with several ha-ha-ha's written in next to it for good measure. At least, that's how it happened with me.

I'm forced to ask the question, is there some good reason that as we aged and supposedly matured, we went away from this method of determining romantic interest? Was there any real flaw in this as a device to inform us whether or not we should invest more effort or emotion into the pursuit of a certain someone? Seriously, it's simple and direct. It gets right to the point and saves everyone involved a whole lot of time and energy.

The thought that's been running around in my head lately is this: why is it that almost everyone, even people who in all other aspects of their lives appear to be grown-up, matured, adult...why is it that when it comes to dating, almost everyone reverts back to middle school? I suppose this would be a good spot for specifics.

I'm going to keep this story as short as possible. Ask girl out on date. Girl says yes, seems somewhat enthusiastic. Take girl out. Date goes reasonably well, from my point of view. Seems less awkward than the average first date. We talk, laugh, have a good time. We even hit some subjects that are less shallow than the average first date conversation. After the date, we talk a couple of times. Conversation is easy, nice. Girl is about to head out on a week vacation, suggest we get together again when she gets back. See girl in a non-date situation just before she leaves on vacation. Girl is suddenly walking past me without looking at me. Basically ignoring me. I practically have to grab her to force her to acknowledge my presence. Came right out and pretty much asked the straightforward question, can I call you when you get back? She says yes. Wait till she's been home three days before calling in an attempt to not look overly eager. She doesn't answer, I leave a message, she never calls back. Game over, I'm done.

I haven't seen her since, although it will happen fairly soon and I'm going to have to restrain myself from screaming HOW F---ING OLD ARE YOU? Seriously! What is it in your genetic makeup that makes you incapable of just saying, "Hey, I'm just not that interested." Do you have any idea how refreshing that would be?

Don't get the wrong idea here. I'm not all that upset over it. It was one date. I wasn't in love or puppy-love or whatever. My heart is not broken, in case you were concerned. It's just the frickin' principle of the thing. Ignore me and not return a phone call? How rude and just plain childish. I drove two hours to take you out on a date, the least you could do is have the decency to return a damn phone call.

A few years ago there was a girl who was in Columbus on an internship for about 4 or 5 months in the summer and fall. She was hanging out with the same friends as I was and we got to know each other and I asked her out. We went on a first date and when I asked for a second date, she expressed a desire to keep things casual and friendly. And we did exactly that. Hung out with our mutual friends and became pretty good friends ourselves. And even though I harbored a crush on her for the rest of the time she was here, it was totally fine. She was straightforward and up-front and honest with me and I will forever respect her for that. Unfortunately, this experience is very rare.

I hate dating. Hate it. Don't hate relationships, hate dating. And this most recent attempt at it is why. The positive experiences are definitely outnumbered by the negative ones. And I continually ask myself why I would subject myself to this frustration again and again.